Some of you may have heard of the concept of “love languages” as conceived of by Gary Chapman. He theorizes that there are 5 love languages and that you use certain ones more than others to communicate love. Traditionally, they are Quality Time, Words of Encouragement, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. But what if I was to tell you Chapman had it all wrong? In fact, there are a few more love languages he forgot. I’m going to let you guys in on some cutting edge research and tell you about them. 1. Delicious food. Some may argue that food fits under gifts, but they would be sorely wrong. There’s something about stuffing your face with food that your dearly beloved has prepared for you that is simply magical. And let’s be honest, for most of us, the way to our hearts is through our stomachs. There is no better way to say I love you than a fresh baked pie, or a 5 layer chocolate cake infused with a hint of citrus, topped with delicate chocolate curls.
2. Creative Insults. Words of encouragement are only one side of the coin. You can also express your love to your beau through creative and thoughtful jabs at their character. Phrases like “You’re such a dork” or “Way to mess that one up, dummy” and pet names like “nincompoop” or “genius face” clearly communicate the admiration you feel for your loved one. The worse the insult, the more they know you love them.
3. Constant Communication. You know your significant other is in class, but you want to make sure they know you’re thinking of them, so you send them 20 texts in a hour. This is not creepy, but is a way of showing that really, you have nothing better to think about than the memory of their face. It also demonstrates how you want to share every moment of your life with them, keeping no secret or boring detail to yourself. And when you exceed your texting limit? You know you’ve done it right.
4. Using Body Language. Nothing says “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” like farting or belching in front of your sweetheart. Although it may be a tad gross, it is a way of communicating to your partner that you are completely comfortable with them. Maybe, one day when your love is at its strongest point, you will even be able to poo in the other’s presence. That’s true love right there.
So there you have it. This Valentine’s day, try to figure out which way the love of your life best feels loved. Experiment! Bake a delicious cake, call them a particularly colourful name, text them until their phone explodes, or fart in their presence, and see which elicits the best response. Good luck Lovebirds!