Abby:
Dear Abby, Why does my milkshake not bring all the boys to the yard? Sincerely, #It'sBetterThanYours Dear #NeedsANewName This is actually a more common problem than you would think. The mistake most people make when trying to make a shake is an improper milk to shake ratio. It should be at least three to one, and you should most definitely be using 2%. Finally, if you have to ask this question you don’t deserve that name. Dear Abby, Question I met a cute associate, but she's hardly ever around. How can I get awesome associates to visit so I can get to know them better? Yours, Associate Lover Dear Associate Lover Free food is guaranteed associate bait, so I would recommend posting on the facebook group about the free food you just happen to have in your room. Happy baiting! Abby Dear Abby, When will we know your real identity Abby? -Lurker Dear Lurker, Maybe at the end of the year you'll be gifted with the knowledge, but until then I'll drop some hints. The first hint is that I am an upper year. Sincerely, None of your business yet (aka, Abby) Dear Abby, I'm in love with the male Grebel Speaks editor. I am completely mesmerized by his luscious curls. But I heard he's a complete lady's man and I don't think I even have a chance. What should I do? Yours, Dying for Dave Dear Dying for Dave, Get a jump on it because while he may not be a complete ladies man, the ladies do love him. So if you don’t go for it someone else might, maybe someone like Abby. Sincerely, Abby Dear Abby, My crush has 'twerking' high on their priority list for potential partner. Where can I learn? -Miley Cyrus is my hero Dear Miley Admirer Don’t bother learning, but instead re-evaluate your list for a potential partner. Hint: "twerker" shouldn’t be on it. Ever in your favour, Abby Dear Abby, I'm in love with a don! What's the Grebel etiquette on how to proceed? Sincerely, I lose my keys on purpose Dear Key Loser, A great way to develop this relationship is to find out when they are on and hang out in their room, after all they can't leave. Once you’ve stolen their heart use their keys to get into the more isolated areas of Grebel for some alone time. As far as etiquette goes it should be handled like any other relationship but with awesome benefits like late supper whenever you need and never being donned for noise. All the best, Abby |
Arnold:
Dear Arnold, The cute upperyear boys never come visit us on the third floor!! What can we do to make this happen? Time is running out on finding my life long partner...my biological clock is ticking! -Frustrated Frosh Dear Frustrated Frosh, This is a very common concern among the frosh and I am sure many other frosh girls are looking for an answer as well. All men want to pursue an attractive young woman like yourself, right? And they all have the confidence to do it, right? WRONG. I’ll let you in on a secret: the upper year boys are afraid of you. If you are concerned about being 50 before finding the one, it’s your job to make the first move. Go upstairs during one of your hall wanders and find an excuse to get into a cute boy’s room. Take full advantage of your good looks and suave demeanor to get in that room and before you know it, you’ll have no concern about your biological clock. Yours, Arnold Dear Arnold, I'm in love with a don! What's the Grebel etiquette on how to proceed? Sincerely, I lose my keys on purpose Dear I lose my keys on purpose, Only go after this don if you are absolutely sure this is the person for you. It’s a nuisance dating dons. They will always catch you when you don’t have shoes in the caf. I’d suggest you find someone else. But if you are positively in love with them stop “losing” your keys for goodness’ sake! Would you want a partner who always locked themself out? I didn’t think so. Instead, offer to go on lock up with them and when passing by the prayer room… you know what to do from there. Best of luck, Arnold Dear Arnold, I'm in love with the male Grebel Speaks editor. I am completely mesmerized by his luscious curls. But I heard he's a complete lady's man and I don't think I even have a chance. What should I do? Sincerely, Dying for Dave Dear Dying for Dave Yes, unfortunately our Grebel Speaks Editor David is a tough catch. There must be something in his curls that gives him some inexplicable confidence. People have written me in the past as to how to grab his attention and so far none of them have had luck. Years of research on my part and still… nothing. Sorry to let you down, Arnold. |