You're Probably in a Cult, You Just Don't Know it Yet
I hate to tell you this but there is a good chance you're in a cult. If you're not a member then somebody close to you probably is. I know this might be hard to stomach but its probably better for you in the long run to find out now. Here's a test, if you recoil in horror at these statements you've already submitted your will to their leader: Bacon sucks. Bacon does not go with everything. Bacon is not the best cut of meat in the world.
I'll put a disclaimer in here saying that I don't actually think bacon sucks, I like bacon with my eggs in the morning, I like bacon on my burgers, and I think that bacon has its uses. But here is part of the problem, I have to explain myself by saying that I do enjoy bacon. One of the characteristics of a cult according to Michael Langone, a researcher specializing "cultic" groups, is that "the group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth." (1) These cultists act as though it is truth that bacon is the best, people can't say they don't like bacon without fear of reproach. The moment something becomes unquestionable it passes from an opinion or belief into the realm of the sacred. Right now North America has sacred bacon resting close to the centre of its culture.
Another cultic characteristic is that "the group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behaviours or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group." (2) Let us look at the recent case of the "Michigan woman convicted in bacon-less burger shooting." (3) Do we really think she would have committed these actions before being brainwashed into the cult of bacon? A reasonable person would not fire a bullet through a McDonalds full of people because they didn't get one strip of terrible bacon on their junky two dollar burger. Once somebody is bombarded with the message that "bacon is the best meat" by the pork industry's propaganda machine they will take these actions.
I am by no means the only one saying this, in fact this article is almost unoriginal. After all it is incredibly hard not to see this going on. There exists a Wikipedia page for "Bacon mania," there is a book called "Seduced by Bacon: Recipes & Lore about America's Favourite Indulgence," there are a couple of young men who make their living off of the bacon craze through a show called "Epic Meal Time," and if you google "the cult of bacon" you get a ridiculous number of results.
What I have here is a plea to your sense of decency. Grebel makes bacon, and when it does do not admonish the one who chooses not to take bacon. If you do you are submitting to the ideology of this cult. Instead shut up about bacon. Talk about something that has value instead of repeating these cultic mantras and letting the pork industry herd you into being their shill. All I want at the end of the day is to keep bacon where it should be, as breakfast side or an addition to our burgers. Don't put bacon in my cupcakes, my mayonnaise, or my lip balm.
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(1) "Characteristics Associated with Cultic Groups," International Cultic Studies Association, accessed March 26, 2015, http://www.icsahome.com/articles/characteristics
(2) "Characteristics Associated with Cultic Groups."
(3) "Michigan woman convicted in bacon-less burger shooting," Detroit Free Press, accessed March 26, 2015, http://www.freep.com/story/entertainment/dining/2015/03/26/wrong-order-shots-fired-mcdonalds/70475462/
I hate to tell you this but there is a good chance you're in a cult. If you're not a member then somebody close to you probably is. I know this might be hard to stomach but its probably better for you in the long run to find out now. Here's a test, if you recoil in horror at these statements you've already submitted your will to their leader: Bacon sucks. Bacon does not go with everything. Bacon is not the best cut of meat in the world.
I'll put a disclaimer in here saying that I don't actually think bacon sucks, I like bacon with my eggs in the morning, I like bacon on my burgers, and I think that bacon has its uses. But here is part of the problem, I have to explain myself by saying that I do enjoy bacon. One of the characteristics of a cult according to Michael Langone, a researcher specializing "cultic" groups, is that "the group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth." (1) These cultists act as though it is truth that bacon is the best, people can't say they don't like bacon without fear of reproach. The moment something becomes unquestionable it passes from an opinion or belief into the realm of the sacred. Right now North America has sacred bacon resting close to the centre of its culture.
Another cultic characteristic is that "the group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behaviours or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group." (2) Let us look at the recent case of the "Michigan woman convicted in bacon-less burger shooting." (3) Do we really think she would have committed these actions before being brainwashed into the cult of bacon? A reasonable person would not fire a bullet through a McDonalds full of people because they didn't get one strip of terrible bacon on their junky two dollar burger. Once somebody is bombarded with the message that "bacon is the best meat" by the pork industry's propaganda machine they will take these actions.
I am by no means the only one saying this, in fact this article is almost unoriginal. After all it is incredibly hard not to see this going on. There exists a Wikipedia page for "Bacon mania," there is a book called "Seduced by Bacon: Recipes & Lore about America's Favourite Indulgence," there are a couple of young men who make their living off of the bacon craze through a show called "Epic Meal Time," and if you google "the cult of bacon" you get a ridiculous number of results.
What I have here is a plea to your sense of decency. Grebel makes bacon, and when it does do not admonish the one who chooses not to take bacon. If you do you are submitting to the ideology of this cult. Instead shut up about bacon. Talk about something that has value instead of repeating these cultic mantras and letting the pork industry herd you into being their shill. All I want at the end of the day is to keep bacon where it should be, as breakfast side or an addition to our burgers. Don't put bacon in my cupcakes, my mayonnaise, or my lip balm.
______________________________________________________________________________
(1) "Characteristics Associated with Cultic Groups," International Cultic Studies Association, accessed March 26, 2015, http://www.icsahome.com/articles/characteristics
(2) "Characteristics Associated with Cultic Groups."
(3) "Michigan woman convicted in bacon-less burger shooting," Detroit Free Press, accessed March 26, 2015, http://www.freep.com/story/entertainment/dining/2015/03/26/wrong-order-shots-fired-mcdonalds/70475462/