Finding God in the Messiness:
5 Things LGBT Christians have Taught Me
By Chris Ong
About 3 years ago when I moved into Grebel, God started showing me just how messy life can be. Things are not always so clean cut like I seemed to think it was. The world isn't all black and white like my home church had taught me and I wasn't sure how to handle the grey areas. It seemed like the more I dug deeper into scripture, the more grey areas would pop up. Over the course of my first year at Grebel, I was able to investigate some of these difficult grey areas, specifically ones that affect my personal walk with God. For those of you who have not been informed (either by myself or the Grebel grapevine), I am a celibate gay Christian. When I say that I am a “celibate gay Christian”, I mean that I am attracted to the same gender but have chosen to abstain from sex given my theological views on homosexuality. Some of the readers of this article might not see how I can be both Christian and gay. I too struggled with this concept because for most of my life, the words ‘gay’ and ‘Christian’ were treated more or less like water and oil. Over the past few years however, I have come to realize that the gay community and the church community do not have to be segregated like they are in today’s western culture.
Over the past 3-4 months I have had the privilege of attending a bible study specifically for LGBT Christians (A.K.A The Gathering). This group is for LGBT Christians that share all different types of theological perspectives on the matter (some affirming and some non-affirming of same sex relationships). Even though people have varying perspectives on homosexuality and the bible, they still gather together bi-weekly to earnestly seek after the God of the bible. Time and time again, this group of people surprises me by how diligently they study the bible and how passionately they seek after truth (whether it be a truth they want to hear or not). This group of friends has given me a lot to think about and have taught me some valuable lessons in life.
5 things that this group of LGBT Christians has taught me over the past few months are:
1. Empathy
This group of Christians has become expert at trying to put itself in other people’s shoes. Far too many times they themselves have been subjected to misunderstanding and prejudice. Understanding each and every person on a deep level is a strong core value to this group. Even in the midst of their struggle with the church, they are open to viewing the world from their oppressor's perspective.
2. Humility
My friends at The Gathering really know how to be humble servants of God. They know how to voice their opinions and keep a firm grasp onto what they know to be true but they also know when to admit that they are wrong. There have been countless times that I have witnessed people recanting previous statements or apologizing for something they said that was wrong. A lot of the members have experienced issues with friends, family, or pastors who have not been willing to listen. This experience with close-mindedness has opened up their hearts to listen to the wisdom of others. They approach each discussion willing to learn new things and understand that God is more important than their ego.
3. Unconditional Love
One of the things that The Gathering tries to emphasize is the concept of unconditional love. A lot of the people who attend this bible study have not been as lucky as I am and have lost their closest friends, family, and church community. The jaded pasts of many of the attendees is the precise reason that unconditional love is so important. The first time I attended, I could feel the unconditional love of everyone almost immediately. They were welcoming and caring towards me and it didn't matter to them if my theological stance matched perfectly with theirs or not. This group fully understands that no matter what your perspective, you are still a human being, deserving of love and respect.
4. Courage
Hearing all of the attendee’s life stories, it is impossible to say that these people are not courageous. Many of these people have made themselves vulnerable to the church on a very deep and visceral level with no guarantee that their lives will ever be the same again. Like I mentioned before, many of these people have lost family, friends, and church communities because they had the courage to talk about such a taboo topic in the church. Each and every time they share their story, they are opening themselves up to a culture that may not accept them for who they are. I personally have an easier time than most gay Christians because I take a celibate perspective, which is more conducive to traditional Christian theology. A lot of the time people who take a celibate approach can be seen as “heroes” in the churches eyes. However, the people who are arguing for affirmation of same sex relationships have to risk a lot more when they choose to be open about their opinions. They often risk being completely ostracized from the church community.
5. Community
Coming from Grebel I thought that I knew everything about community. My friends at The Gathering however have redefined community for me once again. In the group’s eyes, the number one important thing for all Christians is to earnestly seek after God no matter their current state of being. This focus on encouraging each other to seek after God instead of seeking to make sure that everyone agrees with my views is critical to the community that they have built up. They know that it is better to be unified by listening and discussing in a healthy environment, than to be divided amongst ourselves over trivial matters. This focus on community is evident by everyone's willingness to help support, understand, and encourage one another. It is not possible to bring a problem to the group without somebody stepping up to pray for you and to help you progress forward in a Godly manner. No matter my sexual orientation (gay, straight, bisexual, etc…) or my perspective on same sex relationships (affirming or non-affirming), I will always know that I am welcome at The Gathering.
The Gathering is always teaching me new and exciting things and I know I will be learning much more in the months to come. This is only a small glimpse into the world of LGBT Christians and if you ever have questions I am always available to answer them.
Keep it classy Grebel.
Over the past 3-4 months I have had the privilege of attending a bible study specifically for LGBT Christians (A.K.A The Gathering). This group is for LGBT Christians that share all different types of theological perspectives on the matter (some affirming and some non-affirming of same sex relationships). Even though people have varying perspectives on homosexuality and the bible, they still gather together bi-weekly to earnestly seek after the God of the bible. Time and time again, this group of people surprises me by how diligently they study the bible and how passionately they seek after truth (whether it be a truth they want to hear or not). This group of friends has given me a lot to think about and have taught me some valuable lessons in life.
5 things that this group of LGBT Christians has taught me over the past few months are:
1. Empathy
This group of Christians has become expert at trying to put itself in other people’s shoes. Far too many times they themselves have been subjected to misunderstanding and prejudice. Understanding each and every person on a deep level is a strong core value to this group. Even in the midst of their struggle with the church, they are open to viewing the world from their oppressor's perspective.
2. Humility
My friends at The Gathering really know how to be humble servants of God. They know how to voice their opinions and keep a firm grasp onto what they know to be true but they also know when to admit that they are wrong. There have been countless times that I have witnessed people recanting previous statements or apologizing for something they said that was wrong. A lot of the members have experienced issues with friends, family, or pastors who have not been willing to listen. This experience with close-mindedness has opened up their hearts to listen to the wisdom of others. They approach each discussion willing to learn new things and understand that God is more important than their ego.
3. Unconditional Love
One of the things that The Gathering tries to emphasize is the concept of unconditional love. A lot of the people who attend this bible study have not been as lucky as I am and have lost their closest friends, family, and church community. The jaded pasts of many of the attendees is the precise reason that unconditional love is so important. The first time I attended, I could feel the unconditional love of everyone almost immediately. They were welcoming and caring towards me and it didn't matter to them if my theological stance matched perfectly with theirs or not. This group fully understands that no matter what your perspective, you are still a human being, deserving of love and respect.
4. Courage
Hearing all of the attendee’s life stories, it is impossible to say that these people are not courageous. Many of these people have made themselves vulnerable to the church on a very deep and visceral level with no guarantee that their lives will ever be the same again. Like I mentioned before, many of these people have lost family, friends, and church communities because they had the courage to talk about such a taboo topic in the church. Each and every time they share their story, they are opening themselves up to a culture that may not accept them for who they are. I personally have an easier time than most gay Christians because I take a celibate perspective, which is more conducive to traditional Christian theology. A lot of the time people who take a celibate approach can be seen as “heroes” in the churches eyes. However, the people who are arguing for affirmation of same sex relationships have to risk a lot more when they choose to be open about their opinions. They often risk being completely ostracized from the church community.
5. Community
Coming from Grebel I thought that I knew everything about community. My friends at The Gathering however have redefined community for me once again. In the group’s eyes, the number one important thing for all Christians is to earnestly seek after God no matter their current state of being. This focus on encouraging each other to seek after God instead of seeking to make sure that everyone agrees with my views is critical to the community that they have built up. They know that it is better to be unified by listening and discussing in a healthy environment, than to be divided amongst ourselves over trivial matters. This focus on community is evident by everyone's willingness to help support, understand, and encourage one another. It is not possible to bring a problem to the group without somebody stepping up to pray for you and to help you progress forward in a Godly manner. No matter my sexual orientation (gay, straight, bisexual, etc…) or my perspective on same sex relationships (affirming or non-affirming), I will always know that I am welcome at The Gathering.
The Gathering is always teaching me new and exciting things and I know I will be learning much more in the months to come. This is only a small glimpse into the world of LGBT Christians and if you ever have questions I am always available to answer them.
Keep it classy Grebel.