The Art of Ladysuasion
By: Anonymous
The most daunting task for a man has land been debated, would it be to climb the highest of mountains? Go to the deepest part of the sea? Wrestle a tiger into submission using ones bare hands? These are all impressive tasks, but real men know that the one most terrifying task that faces a man is that of ladysuasion, the art of wooing a lady and not making them avoid you. Feel free to follow along with these simple, step by step instructions. They make ladysuasion fun!
Step 1.
Ladies dig it if you have a super special awesome ultra-special super sexy sound track playing whenever they see you. A suitable super special awesome ultra-special super sexy sound track would be Sexy Back by our bro JT. If this song is playing every time you walk around, the ladies will be all over you in the blink of an eye.
Step 2.
You must be able to prove your dedication to the cause, and by the cause we mean the woman. But how can your average man prove his dedication to his special lady? One of the prime instances of such a dedication is shown by chasing after her if she plans to leave the country and catching her in the airport to try and change her mind, even if this act will cause you to have a heart attack. See? Dedication.
Step 3.
A man has to stick out in a crowd and not simply blend in with all your average Joes. There are a number of ways a man can achieve this, whether it be the colour or shape of his hair, the way his coat always blows out behind him no matter the environment around him, his TM87[1], or the number of times he has saved the world.
Step 4
Eliminate the competition. If you are the only man surrounded by a bevy of beautiful babes, they will be all over you. No questions asked. This is just the progression of the natural order in its most pure state. Do note, if you make an official “relationship” with one of the ladies, the rest may play by the ancient and sacred rule of dating. Just because there is a goalie, does not mean that you cannot score.
Step 5
The most important thing is that a man is a winner. If he loses, the ladies will be less impressed with his skills. A man must have the ability to say that he was won every competition, every duel, everything he has participated in, even that three legged race he participated in when he was five. Winners win the ladies with their mad skillz that killz and that is that. Winners win and losers lose.
Conclusion
There is no particular order that these five steps have to be followed in to gain success, the important part is that the man follows these five steps, and does not leave a single step out. With each step forgotten, his success rates will drop significantly.
[1] TM87 - swagger
Step 1.
Ladies dig it if you have a super special awesome ultra-special super sexy sound track playing whenever they see you. A suitable super special awesome ultra-special super sexy sound track would be Sexy Back by our bro JT. If this song is playing every time you walk around, the ladies will be all over you in the blink of an eye.
Step 2.
You must be able to prove your dedication to the cause, and by the cause we mean the woman. But how can your average man prove his dedication to his special lady? One of the prime instances of such a dedication is shown by chasing after her if she plans to leave the country and catching her in the airport to try and change her mind, even if this act will cause you to have a heart attack. See? Dedication.
Step 3.
A man has to stick out in a crowd and not simply blend in with all your average Joes. There are a number of ways a man can achieve this, whether it be the colour or shape of his hair, the way his coat always blows out behind him no matter the environment around him, his TM87[1], or the number of times he has saved the world.
Step 4
Eliminate the competition. If you are the only man surrounded by a bevy of beautiful babes, they will be all over you. No questions asked. This is just the progression of the natural order in its most pure state. Do note, if you make an official “relationship” with one of the ladies, the rest may play by the ancient and sacred rule of dating. Just because there is a goalie, does not mean that you cannot score.
Step 5
The most important thing is that a man is a winner. If he loses, the ladies will be less impressed with his skills. A man must have the ability to say that he was won every competition, every duel, everything he has participated in, even that three legged race he participated in when he was five. Winners win the ladies with their mad skillz that killz and that is that. Winners win and losers lose.
Conclusion
There is no particular order that these five steps have to be followed in to gain success, the important part is that the man follows these five steps, and does not leave a single step out. With each step forgotten, his success rates will drop significantly.
[1] TM87 - swagger