A Challenge of Sorts
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-David DeVries
"Are you ready for this?", asked Kevin to cashier at Tim Horton's. "I think so, is this going to be a complicated order?”, she responded. "In a way," I promptly returned, "Could I have 210 Timbits please?" This request was greeted by the best blank stare I've seen in a while. Why 210 Timbits? The answer: The Timbit Challenge. 40 Timbits, 30 minutes, no water. It was near the beginning of the term when Joey mentioned this challenge to me. Upon hearing the rules, I immediately thought that this "challenge" was no challenge at all, but rather an over-sized snack. Joey assured me this was not the case, and so it had to be tested. Soon Katrina was in, along with Karen, and Evan. The date was set, and then all there was to do was get the Timbits. |
That's the first difficult part of the Timbit Challenge. One does not simply walk into a Tim Horton's and ask for 210 Timbits. Or so I now know. The first time I attempted to buy the required 210 (10 Timbits extra to ensure enough for each contestant), I was told that I must pre-order such a large quantity of Timbits by a day. And so I did, being forced to divulge my personal information and to pay for all 210 Timbits upfront. The day of the challenge came the day after, and before you knew it the Timbits were sorted by flavour, and then divided evenly between the contestants. When divided, it appeared that Tim Horton's had not precisely counted the number of Timbits given, and so each of us had 45 Timbits to consume. Yes, 11.1% more Timbits than the specified in the rules. Challenge accepted. With the Timbits divided, we took our seats around the table laden with 5 Timbit-filled trays.
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A last minute substitution saw Dirk take the place of an already sick Karen, who was certainly not in prime Timbit eating condition. A crowd gathered around the table, encircling us with a ring of inquiring faces, wondering who would finish and who would end up giving the Timbits they had eaten to an awaiting garbage can.
The music swelled, and so it began. Evan began chomping through his spiral of glazed, deep-fried dough. Dirk started munching down Timbits without abandon. Joey casually ate his 'Bits, proudly wearing his Habs jersey as symbol of ensured victory. Katrina, being "built for eating Timbits", ploughed into her pile, maintaining a quick pace. As for me, I started off with a group of the chocolate glazed kind, feeling a little daunted by the tray of Timbits in front me. And so the eating wore on. Timbit after Timbit was popped or thrown into our mouths, quickly filling our mouths with an abundance of sickly sweetness.
The music swelled, and so it began. Evan began chomping through his spiral of glazed, deep-fried dough. Dirk started munching down Timbits without abandon. Joey casually ate his 'Bits, proudly wearing his Habs jersey as symbol of ensured victory. Katrina, being "built for eating Timbits", ploughed into her pile, maintaining a quick pace. As for me, I started off with a group of the chocolate glazed kind, feeling a little daunted by the tray of Timbits in front me. And so the eating wore on. Timbit after Timbit was popped or thrown into our mouths, quickly filling our mouths with an abundance of sickly sweetness.
Evan didn't seem to be fazed much by this, and kept on eating with a dogged determination, finishing all 45 Timbits in a brief 7 minutes span. The rest of us suffered on. Around 20, eating Timbits got pretty old for me, at 30 it was unpleasant, and after 40, it was near torture. The combination of sweetness and dense dough was simply sickening, and eating more only made it more difficult to keep on going. The flavour of the Timbits themselves presented unique challenges. For instance, the honey dipped Timbits were light and airy, giving no difficulty at all. But then there were the cherry glazed kind. I didn't even know this was a flavour of Timbit, but I certainly do now. I also know that it is the worst flavour of Timbit ever devised. Ever. And then there were the two powder chocolate Timbits that each of us had to eat. To get just one down was a challenge in itself. Dense as a black hole and as dry as the Sahara after a century long drought, these Timbits are not to be trifled with. We persevered though, with Katrina finishing in 19 minutes, and Dirk and I coming in at 20 minutes.
Then there was Joey. Getting up to 32 downed Timbits, Joey hit the wall and could get no farther. Using his better judgement, he surrendered to the Timbits, leaving the challenge uncompleted.
After completing the challenge, all of us graciously accepted any water we could, in a fool-hardy attempt to wash away the sweetness enveloping our mouths. If only it was that easy; the sweetness was there to stay for the remainder of the night. Along with the horrible sweetness in my mouth, my stomach was churning, trying to comprehend what had just happened. I had no answers for it, and so my stomach struggled on, letting me know how it felt about me all evening.
In light of this, participating in this challenge was definitely something I don't regret. It was rewarding, it was tasty (for the first 10 Timbits), and it was entertaining. The sense of accomplishment you feel when that last Timbit finally goes down is second to none. The whole process, from ordering the Timbits to cleaning up the glaze-littered trays was absolutely fantastic and utterly hysterical. It featured many laughs and good times, and will provide many more, especially on the subject of Joey not finishing. Would I recommend the Timbit challenge to others? Yes, but it's a challenge that shouldn't be taken lightly. It's doable, no doubt about it, just don't attempt it an hour before a final exam. Or any other important event for that matter.
After completing the challenge, all of us graciously accepted any water we could, in a fool-hardy attempt to wash away the sweetness enveloping our mouths. If only it was that easy; the sweetness was there to stay for the remainder of the night. Along with the horrible sweetness in my mouth, my stomach was churning, trying to comprehend what had just happened. I had no answers for it, and so my stomach struggled on, letting me know how it felt about me all evening.
In light of this, participating in this challenge was definitely something I don't regret. It was rewarding, it was tasty (for the first 10 Timbits), and it was entertaining. The sense of accomplishment you feel when that last Timbit finally goes down is second to none. The whole process, from ordering the Timbits to cleaning up the glaze-littered trays was absolutely fantastic and utterly hysterical. It featured many laughs and good times, and will provide many more, especially on the subject of Joey not finishing. Would I recommend the Timbit challenge to others? Yes, but it's a challenge that shouldn't be taken lightly. It's doable, no doubt about it, just don't attempt it an hour before a final exam. Or any other important event for that matter.