Dear Abby,
What was the deal with the blue tray? It was there for a while, dealing out peace and love like a coloured tray should. Now it's gone. Was it really magic like the orange tray, or just a cheap sham? Feeling Blue Dear Feeling Blue, The blue tray. A child cries soundlessly. Vines eat away at a brick house. A dead sky beckons. A limping dog. A lonely heart. The blue tray. Sincerely, Abby |
Dear Abby,
I am so absolutely infatuated with Michelle Trufflepuff!! I don't think she knows though. Every time I look at her I drool. I plan all my routines the way I think she would want me to. I did hear that she watches me on the television, but I want her in the front row and in my arms. But sadly to say she is with that dirty blonde Irish boy. Please Abbey I need your help to steal her away. I dream of lifting her into the air and gliding across the ice together. I imagine her as my life long ice dancing partner. We would be so fabulous together. What should I do to get her to see my true love and to win her over? Please I'm really desperate!!! My tears shed while I dance and they freeze up and become the ice I dance across. Sincerely my forever love <3 Patrick Chan ;) Dear Patrick Chan, Let me ask you a question: Have you tried Googling “Best ways 2 pick up hot babez?” I have. And now I can share my wisdom with you.
Best of Luck, Abby |
I'll be honest with you, Abby: I've got a crush that makes me feel hotter than an Arabian night. How do I confess my love to this smokeshow without him thinking I'm a nut? I mean, he is Grebel's most eligible Bachelor...
Hot for Nathan Dear Hot for Nathan: I've compiled a list of the best ways to confess your love:
If you follow these steps Nathan is guaranteed to fall in love with you. Then you can get married, have kids, and watch as your love slowly dies, leaving you with years of mutual indifference and a man who you’re contractually obliged to tolerate. But do it for the children. Oh, the children. All the best, Abby |
Dear Arnold,
How long should a wedding engagement be? Thinking of Proposing Dear Thinking of Proposing, My general rule is fast and furious. You don’t want to give time for cold feet. Seeing as though the girl probably already has the whole wedding planned, you shouldn’t need more than a few days. A month tops. Cheers, Arnold |
Dear Arnold,
How do I stand a chance in trying to win over Grebel's most eligible bachelor?! No Competition Dear No Competition, There are a number of subtle, Grebel friendly techniques at your disposal to win the heart of Grebel’s most eligible bachelor. Here are some of my favourites:
These options are completely Grebel-approved and yet will definitely get the point across. Good Luck! Arnold |
Dear Arnold,
There is this girl, and she and I are off stream. I think she is very interesting and definitely dating potential, and I want to get to know her better. She is currently on co-op. How should I go about doing this? Star-crossed lover Dear Star-crossed lover, It’s called a stake-out. You need to research the company they are working for and find out when the office opens. Then one morning, you arrive at the building and sneak to their cubicle. While you wait for them to arrive, you should decorate with the images you generated of your future children. When they arrive to work, you present them with a bouquet of flowers. This should let them know you’re interested, if it still seems ambiguous, a coffee cart declaration a la Seth Cohen is always a good second option. Best of Luck, Arnold |